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As well as summer, outdoor, cricket, the club has an extensive programme of winter indoor cricket.  Included in this is its Poloc Pythons team that plays in the Cricket Scotland Tapeball League. 


The 2018-19 midweek league fixtures for the Pythons are below. 



Pythons news and match reports


(Please note that no offence is intended to any third party in the undernoted match reports that are produced with the primary intention of [hopefully] entertaining club members.)


Pythons momentum derailed..... [posted 12/12/18]

This week we saw the titans of Poloc Pythons face Motherwell CC. The match between the two of them could see the Pythons go top of the league or lose their unbeaten run to a deadly opponent. This would be the team's toughest challenge yet, as their opponents were unbeaten until they came across last year's champions Govanhill CC who they just narrowly lost to. Again, the Pythons were a changed side and looked to be under-powered for this game, a lot of vehlay unavailability making selection tricky. With the Glitch, Murtaza and John unavailable, Froggy Malik still "studying yaar", the team drafted in Kess with Afro MZ back in after his one match suspension. The Pythons though were struggling for the last player and eventually found themselves with a player who pulled out of the tournament days before the first match,…..Taimoor Ahmad!

Motherwell CC won the toss and elected to bowl first, they were kind enough to give Piano a couple of warm up balls, and it wasn't pretty.  The first practice ball resulted in Piano being clean bowled, leading him to ask the Captain "Is the batting order still the same?" Of course it was!  The successful opening partnership of Piano and The Maal wasn't going to change now.  An argument then broke out between the two on who would take the first ball. The Maal persistent "Yar, I never take the first ball, bad things happen when I do."  Maybe he should have though, as bad things could have happened to the other team, but no, first ball from their gun bowler to Piano just missed the top of the stumps. Simply just too much pace, resulting in the next ball,…..clean bowled.  The Pythons' highest averaging batsmen departed…..for 0!  Rambo came to the crease doing his mandatory shadow drives and swivels, him and Maal then seeing off the first two overs, hitting the ball off the walls, accumulating runs, taking no risks with the running.  But speaking of risk, the opening bowler returned, and Rambo decided to go for a big one but instead picked out the man at the boundary.

Taimoor, making his debut, played himself in cautiously to see out the over. Maal back on strike for the next over started to up the run rate, but eventually was dismissed…..rather unluckily. It was a huge hit down the ground and was gone for 6 you would think, but the opposition player took the catch one-handed off the wall and appealed. After much deliberation between the two umpires it was given OUT!  It appeared the ball had hit the last part of the roof and not the back wall, a centimetre or two lower, and it would have been a huge one. Captain MI was the next man in, receiving an ovation and loud cheer as always but he wasn't on strike as the over had been bowled. Taimoor then hit one to point and it's off the wall.  MI seeing an opportunity, after slight hesitation, set off.  Unfortunately the ball went to the best fielder in the opposition team: direct hit; just short of his crease, MI out without facing a ball - no heroics tonight. The crowd dispersed.

Afro MZ
, vexed, came out with a purpose, and he did what many others couldn't do.  He steadied the innings with Taimoor, and was scoring with a blistering strike-rate, batting intelligently with excellent running and utilising the walls (team, please take a note!). It therefore looked as if a competitive total would be posted, only for a blunder to happen: the batsmen at the crease thought there was one more over left in the innings - and they weren't the only ones – however the dugout thought the same as the umpires?!?  And so after a lengthy check with the scorers the conclusion was the full overs had been bowled.  The Pythons had limped to a total of 69.

A low total of 69 to defend the Pythons had their work cut out.  Piano to open, and, first ball?  You guessed it: no ball!  However a complete mix-up between the batsmen resulted in a run out!  It appeared to be an excellent over until the last ball which went through the man at the boundary, resulting in 5 runs.  Taimoor then bowled the next, a barrage of no balls as he got used to the game, and then a huge 6!  He came back strongly to finish the over however.  Piano was then back, kept it tight, only for another mix-up between the batsmen,…..and another run out!  At 22 for 2 from three overs the Pythons were very much in the game.  Abdullah bowled the next over, which, despite the extras, was quite good, and resulted in yet another run out! The team was showing some excellent fielding, slithering around and taking their chances!  Curly Suejjad just like others before him, bowled well minus the extras, only going for 6.  But the over we were waiting for finally came, Afro Zalim, with ball in hand, started his over the way he finished his last one…..with a beamer!  Warning given, but he came back strong.  However what could have resulted in an excellent over turned out to be the opposite, three dropped catches at the boundary, and a couple of diving efforts that should have been taken.  Bogey actually saved 6 runs (like he claimed last week), a full reach jump and a one-handed stop.  But too hard for the catch.

Amongst all this action another run out took place too, and the Pythons also missed out on a chance of yet another!  Motherwell CC on 47 for 4 and two overs left with 13 runs to get.  Bogey to bowl the penultimate over.  He started with extras, which was plaguing the team.  A run out chance came though: direct hit!  Not given!  And the batsman and bowler had collided! Bogey, back from injury, injured again. But he bravely continued the over, bringing another run out chance: Taimoor going for the striker's end from the boundary narrowly missing and the batsmen run 2!  6 runs coming from that one ball!  Last ball of the over, 1 run needed and…..Bogey bowled a wide! Game over.  In an entertaining game, the Pythons are defeated!

This may have not been the Pythons' best team, but they narrowly lost to tough opposition.  Defending 70, and with the Pythons giving Motherwell at least three overs more with the extras, they somehow managed to take it to the end of the penultimate over. The Pythons actually did quite well and shouldn't have even been in the game with all the extras bowled and boundary mis-fields! It could have easily have been a win if the team had performed slightly better in either one of the disciplines. Next up for Pythons is the most formidable team in the tournament, Govanhill CC. The Pythons will need to be at their best, as they were last year, to topple the team that has only lost one game in both tournaments combined! That loss occurred against…..the mighty Pythons.


Pythons at their best... [posted 07/12/18] 

The Pythons were back in action against Asian All Stars. Touted to be the Pythons' toughest challenge yet, and judging by the name alone it would be something you might believe. The Pythons had a dilemma though: their mascot Afro MZ received a one-match suspension due to his onslaught of beamers in the previous game. And, Froggy Malik wasn't available as he had to "study, yaar" - many believe he was studying the game of tapeball given his feedback from the last game to Coach Ruman: "Yar, it's too fast". The Messiah Hassan Ali Wide was also left out of the squad due to availability. This brought about three changes: Johnty Allan back in, bringing diversity; the loudest Bogey on earth, Hunnain; and the much anticipated return of The Glitch (Haseeb). 


As usual, there were some shenanigans before the game with Rampro and The Maal making Captain MI tour round all of Glasgow city centre to get them to the game.  With Rampro going from street to street like a tourist, cab driver MI was chasing him around from destination to destination, only for a 'phone call from The Maal "Bro', this bus man, it keeps on stopping, I'm not gonna make it on time. yar". And so, due to his city centre tour, MI advised him to be in the city somewhere, as the way things were going with Nutella, he'd eventually bump into him at some point. Then came several 'phone calls from the suspended Afro MZ, filling in for Coach Ruman, started, asking for his whereabouts.  So MI had to balance three calls at a time; from MZ, Maal and Nutella, eventually putting his 'phone on "Do not disturb"!  This nonsense was ongoing for some time with the Pythons looking likely to forfeit their match due to already being late, and looking as if they would not even make the cut-off point of the extra fifteen minutes provided to teams.  However, finally, Nutella made it to the location he was originally meant to be at, and, round the corner, guess who's there: The Maal! All good to go. The trio then tried to call the rest of the team to give them an update. Several 'phone calls to different team members, no-one picking up!  Alas, everyone seemed to be on the O2 network!  However with an update eventually given,  MI engaged his car into sport mode, and the full squad was on site in no time at all.  The Glitch was midway through the toss when MI arrived, and so when he saw the last trio arrive and he elected to bowl first.


Haroon opened up and got the game going with a few no balls: a poor start.  This included him being very late and rushed too.  It looked as if it wasn't going to be the Pythons' day. However, that all changed in the space of three balls: the Pythons were at their best! Piano Boy was whacked, but MI Cobra was slithering around and took a deadly catch, just clinging on! Next man in for All Stars was none other than Pai Khaled a.k.a  BOOM, BOOM!  But he tapped the ball and looked for a single, only for a quick pick-up and turn from MI, with one stump to aim at, that saw him throw the ball and shatter the stumps.  Danger man well short of his crease, and out! Then Piano Boy, steaming in, pitches one short.  It's hit off the wall, and in comes Johnty Allan taking a superb one-handed diving catch leaving the opposition three down in one over!  Brilliant! 


Then on comes the star bowler from last year: The Glitch, who really seemed to have glitched as he malfunctioned and gifted several extras.  Uncharacteristic, nevertheless his over went for less than 10.  Murtaza was next, and bowled the usual tight, economical, over that he's programmed to do.  Over to Johnty Allan, who took the ball.  A couple of balls in, the ball is nicked off the wall and Nutella with an excellent match awareness dives forward at point and takes the catch one-handed, superb! 


The pressure was mounting on the opposition now. A few dot balls from the over led to a dab to square-leg, but Bogey, with an excellent piece of work, stopped the ball from hitting the wall with a diving save.  Then Murtaza, quick to react, saw the batsmen running, picked the ball up and executed the run out!  All Stars five wickets down now, two wickets left for the Pythons to take. Johnty Allan would then take another.  Bowled!  The batsman was left bewildered, as there appeared to be no sound and the stumps seemed not to move.  Off they went, in disbelief, but not until the umpire gave the signal.....for the third time!  One wicket left now and we were into the fifth over.  Piano to bowl.  The first ball was whacked straight back at him, and with next to no reaction time he took a superb catch and the Pythons were celebrating! 


After such an excellent bowling and fielding display the Pythons were buzzing! And, with a total of just 32 runs to defend, the All Stars went out to field.  And here's a thing: despite the Pythons being late, they were all in match kit; the All Stars however?  Four of them rocked up in jeans, and just one with a shirt!  It seemed as if the All Stars were ready to go to Glasgow Quay for some shisha, yar.  Amyway , back to the game: in a change from the usual batting order Piano was rested, and opening the batting were the late pair: Maal and NutellaAll Stars started off with their express pacer who looked extremely quick and troubled the opening pair when he got his line and length right.  They did well to see him off only for Abdullah to then struggle against the change bowler who was nearly as good!  Beaten for pace with a straight one, Maal was first to depart.  This brought in the slimey one - The Bogey - not sure what sport he was playing, but any time the ball was bowled he was hopping around, the way Froggy would in the garden.  Eventually the bowler did everyone a favour and bowled the same one he had bowled to the Maal: Bogey out.....for 0.  So in came MI Cobra to steer the ship and ensure there was no collapse: a brief chat with Nutella to see off the bowlers and rebuild the innings.  Some good running between the wickets, watching the ball carefully, and they were edging towards their target. 


All Stars though weren't going to go down without a fight, and so they brought back their number one bowler and he struck first ball. Despite the wise words of Nutella - "He bowls straight, watch the ball" - he'd become the victim of an excellent yorker.  This called for the leading run scorer for the team to come in and save the day.  And after a brief chat with the captain to "See off this over" the new batting pair then received "chat" from the opposition.  However this didn't stop the pair, as they batted and added 14 together, Piano Boy finishing things off with a straight 6 down the ground!


Pythons win by five wickets!


An absolute stunning display from the team, the Pythons bowled out their opponents in a record time of only fifteen minutes and in just 4.1 overs!  An all-round collective team performance with a brilliant victory making it three out of three.  The team's next two games will be their toughest though as they will be facing two of the current top three in the league.


Two from two for the Pythons [posted 02/12/18]


The Pythons were back in action again versus the imposters that are Greater Pollok Eagles.  Will the real Poloc team please stand up? 


For this match-up the Pythons made some changes to their squad, with two new debutants in - Hasan Ali Wide and Froggy Malik. 


The Pythons lost the toss and were thrown in to bat first, with the consistent openers both being given lifelines. First ball, Piano boy Haroon hit one straight to mid-off: an easy catch dropped and a single run. Second ball, Roadman (Abdullah) spooned one straight to point: the catch taken.....well, until it was dropped. The Pythons were playing dangerously. From there on, the Pythons didn’t look back though, scoring at a high rate, with some big hits from Haroon and a couple from Abdullah. At last, their partnership was broken, not by the usual run out, but by Haroon having to retire as he got past 30.  Well played.  In came the Sri Lankan pro' Rampro, going at a nice rate with the Roadman: Pythons passed 50 in four overs.


Still having seven wickets in hand, the plan was to attack. And the Pythons did just that, with each batsman scoring above double figures and doing their best to boost the total as high as they could. Then the moment came that we were all waiting for, Hasan Ali Wide and Froggy Malik at the crease together. Some dodgy running between the two and the Frog was seen leaping around between the wickets living up to his name.


The Pythons had posted a big total though: 128.


Defending 128 should be an easy task many would think, but, as we know with the Pythons, it is never easy.  The second innings started off well, with the Piano starting off well albeit with a boundary coming off the first over: the ball going through Abdullah for four.  Murtaza, next up, was economical, getting an excellent run out. This brought the Piano back and he got out the danger man with his first ball.  The game looked firmly in the Pythons' grasp as the over was another economical one.  Next up was Hasan Ali Wide, the star player.  But he didn't live up to his name, extras being racked up, not from wides, but from no balls. Finding his feet, he came back with some good deliveries and a run out was executed. So an expensive over compared to the first three, but, overall, decent enough.


Pollok Greater Eagles were 38 for 3 after four overs.


The next over then had it all, bowled by none other than Afro MZ.  Where do we start?  First ball: no ball.  Second ball: no ball, and it was a beamer resulting in a warning from the umpires!  Third ball: a lovely yorker, and he beats the batsmen claiming a wicket.  "OIIIIIII!!!!"  Fourth ball: no ball bouncer which resulted in him having to be replaced.  Only one legitimate delivery bowled!  But during the play Afro MZ, smart enough to realise the batsmen were running between the wickets, with a quick pick up managed to hit the stumps resulting in another wicket.  As per the rules, the bowler who has been taken off has to be replaced by the player in the team that wasn’t going to bowl, bringing in Nutella to replace the Afro who went aggro.


Nutella started the same way his replacement had - first ball: beamer!  It looped over the batsman's head, doing Ali Maddock proud! Second ball: a legit' delivery.  Third delivery: a wicket!  A good caught and bowled by Rampro; a low diving catch off his own bowling. Next ball? Yep, a beamer! So, what now? Three legitimate deliveries bowled, two bowlers pulled out of the attack!  Other players bowled out and three still left to bowl.  Surely there was a rule for this scenario?  However,.....there was not.  The umpires decided they would designate numbers to players with the others' backs turned and then pick a number.  The umpires picked, and who came out of the lucky dip as the winner?  Murtaza!  The Pythons were happy with this as the past two overs had brought the opposition back into the game.  Murtaza did his usual, bowled exceptionally well, not giving many runs away. 


Despite the calamity from offenders Rampro and Afro MZ, they had managed to get three wickets in the never-ending over.  So only one wicket left for the Pythons to get, and Abdullah coming up to the Captain MI to observe, “Yar, the game is slipping away a bit”.  With Captain MI entirely aware of this he brought on one of his most consistent bowlers at the death, the Maal.  This change looked to be the correct one, as the runs had been racking up and the Pythons getting sloppy in the field leaking runs. The first couple of balls from the over were no balls though, and then a six!  Then it just became comical, with fielders losing their heads with overthrows, extra runs here, there and everywhere, more extras, and a boundary! 


The batting team now only required 38 runs from two overs: the match had been turned on its head and the Pythons could be facing a loss from a commanding position.  And, there were two bowlers who hadn’t bowled before in the tournament.  With one ball easily resulting in 3 runs (a tap off the wall giving 1 run, running between the wickets giving 2), ten of these plus a couple of boundaries from the twelve remaining balls could see the match being Pollok Greater Eagles'.  And so it was that Captain MI Cobra was given the ball.....by himself.  First ball: front foot no ball with the batsmen crossing. Second ball: the exact same!  Many were now worried that there was some match fixing going on.  However MI was never worried, as he was just finding his form. Next ball: ball bowled outside off inviting the batsman to play.  Hit in the air and off the wall, coming towards MI with several coming in to take a one-handed catch.  But Captain Cobra had other ideas, he had seen the batsmen's indecision and that they were out of their creases.  And so instead of taking the catch one-handed, he flicked the ball on to the stumps, the players looking at the umpire appealing!  For a moment the umpire stood still, not moving.  The Pythons wondered what the verdict was?  Another second went by.....the umpire still not making a decision.  But, finally, the finger was raised: OUT!  The Pythons had won by 28 runs!


After the initial celebrations at the victory, the heads of the team were down: against a weak bowling attack and poor fielding side, the Pythons had been let off.  It wasn’t a case of who performed better, but more so who performed less worse!  An ugly win, and not one to celebrate really.....


Matchday one win over the 'Dale [posted 21/11/18]

Irfan Hanif reports on last night's Tapevall League match.  "After last year's quarter-final loss, leaving the thousands and thousands of Pythons fans with heartache, the team found themselves back in action last night versus their arch-nemesis from the WDCU: Dynamic Dale. Making a derby game the main event for Tuesday night's start of a new campaign was hailed as a smart move by the organisers, as the two giants teeing off against each other would be akin to Pakistan versus India, Celtic versus Rangers,.....Poloc Panthers versus Poloc Academy, or.....Ruman Roids versus Froggy Malik! 


"Having been the only team to topple last year's eventual winners Govanhill CC - who went on to beat the Scotland team! - the Pythons had high hopes that they could go far in this year's competition. Hampered by some immaturity and unavailability last season, the Pythons were busy off-season, with captain MI bolstering the squad with some new signings making sure none of last year's shenanigans would arise again. And so it was a new-look Pythons, and a diverse team, with dem kalas (Nutella), dem goras (John) and dem vehlas (Zakir). There were also some last-minute changes to the team though as the Bogey (Hunnain) injured his ankle doing ballet, and the Glitch (Haseeb) was unavehlable (unavailable) due to a prostate exam'! And so the finally confirmed team for the first match would be West Indian (Haroon), Sri Lankan pro' (Rambo), The South African (Jonty), The Colombian (Abdullah Escobar), the curly brothers (Kess and Zakir) and the Pakistani amateur (Murtaza), all led by MI Cobra.


"And so with the air horns blaring, and flags waving, the coin toss was done, with the Pythons winning it and sending Dynamic Dale in to bat first. First over was taken by the piano player Haroon, although, he decided to bowl seam rather than his piano playing spin. He bowled a great first over keeping it tight with one shot smashed off the leg-side wall, aaaaand…..TAAAAKEEN!!!!! Superb catch by Jonty Allan, taking the catch one-handed! Great start. Jonty Allan was next to bowl and what an eventful over it was, first ball: FOUR! The ball goes through Curly Sue-jjad (Kess)! Second ball: DOT BALL. Third ball: WICKET!! Fourth ball: NO BALL, with a warning from the umpire,.....and we won’t bore you with the rest as a couple more no balls came along until,..... another WICKET! Two wickets in one over, an excellent start as Dynamic Dale were three down after two overs. Piano comes back on to bowl the third, and again keeps it tight. Murtaza does the same in the fourth, with a WICKET!, first ball. Second ball: RUN OUT by the Piano from the boundary! Then came 'Fro Man (Zakir) for the fifth, and he decided to make the game entertaining…with the opposition five-down. 'Fro Man starts chucking no balls hoping for free hits so the Pythons have a decent total to chase.  This was a long over that the umpires had to stop as it got boring. Some people thought there was music playing in the hall, when, instead, it was just Haroon playing the piano at cover. A big over it was though, which was needed by Dynamic Dale. Next up was Abdullah - 'Hold on, let me take my cap off, yar' - and this time music was playing, some Grime hit the speakers as Fadezone had to make his entrance as he is no next man. That entrance was enough to put off the facing batsman, who was so vexed, he hit one straight back down the ground, only to for it to be TAAAAKEEEENN!!!! by Curly Sue-jjad.  A low diving-forward catch. An excellent effort. But the umpires weren't convinced and wanted to go to the third umpire,.....only to realise there wasn't one, and so took the fielder's word it had been taken cleanly. The big screen confirmed this. A very economical over from Esco. One wicket and two overs left. Kess bowled the penultimate over, following in his curly brother's footsteps with several no balls, even though the last wicket came from it. The sleeping giant, MI, who had been dormant for most of the game, had shown excellent awareness in seeing the batsmen running but stopping midway.  He then grabbed the ball, and demolished the wickets, Jonty Rhodes-style. Dynamic Dale bowled out for 79.


"The chase was then on, and it was the usual pair of Esco and Piano. Ticking away the score, the pair would then be hit by the inevitable: a run out between them. This brought John to the crease, who, with Haroon, steadied the innings, the latter going for big hits. Haroon was eventually taken out by a good one-handed catch and departed for a solid 25. In came the main man, the Kohli, doing some shadow shots on the way to the crease.  However, second ball, he smashed a straight drive, only to be caught by the bowler. A successful chase never looked in doubt however despite the quick wickets, and the over that sent everyone home early belonged to Judas, switching allegiance back to the Dark Side. What was then witnessed was the worst over in tapeball history, with no balls every ball, in fact so bad that the umpires just got sick of it and took him off. John and Murtaza then saw off the replacement bowler to seal the game with four overs to spare. Pythons win by 5 wickets, and man of the match goes to Haroon Tahir for his all-round performance. Excellent start from the Pythons with a win already registered and an all-round contribution from each member of the team."


Back up and slithering! [posted 14/11/18] 

Poloc_Pythons_logo_small The Poloc Pythons will be back in tapeball action a week yesterday as the 2018-19 Tapeball League starts up for its second season.  The Pythons' first match sees them take on some motley crew called "Dynamic Dale", whoever they are!  Thereafter the fixture card (see below) sees matches against Greater Pollok Eagles, Asian All Stars, Motherwell CC and Govanhill CC, in that order.  As usual we'll be keeping up with the side's fortunes as the season progresses.